One advantage that children of other
races, particularly Caucasian, have is that during the formative years,
they're educated about the triumphs of their people and the ethic of "keeping
the tradition" is instilled in them. Another advantage is family;
not so much whether or not Mom and Dad are happily married and raising
their children together, but rather the concept of their family being who
they are, and that the family sticks together to thrive throughout future
generations as such. More than anything else, they're taught to believe
in their greatness and superiority over all others, and that they should
live all the days of their lives accordingly. Because from the onset
they know of the great accomplishments of their people, the duration of
their lives is spent on a mission to surpass the strides made by the generations
before. And whether or not they really see exterior beauty when they
look into the mirror, it is ingrained in their minds that they are the
absolute most beautiful beings indeed.
I don't have the inside track on
just how easy or difficult it is for White parents to raise White children.
What I do know is that despite the fact that they too, like all parents,
are faced with the challenge of steering their children along the "right"
path away from the "wrong" crowd, being among the ranks of those who set
the standards of living not only in this society, but generally the world
at-large, there's not very much necessity to undo their children's
natural *packaging*. Since *their people* pretty much dictate that
the standards for beauty, intelligence, behavior, the arts and culture
are defined by their characteristics, quite *naturally* they specifically
fit the bill.
It is this self-prequalification
that guarantees their advancement and secures their position in this society.
Think about it, your success is a sure-thing when the plan is devised using
your qualifications as prerequisites and the parameters by which performance
is measured are set based specifically on your abilities. So, even
when White children go astray, oftentimes the opportunity to rehabilitate
and live as members of the status quo is readily theirs to seize without
the threat of stigma to jeopardize their futures.
The White man, since the beginning
of time, has been devising his own games. In the course of playing
them, he has intermixed truths and lies that make him believable Prima
Facie as he goes about his real business of weaving his web of deception.
A key element in perfecting his mastery in the art of trickery has been
to incorporate the game plan into all facets of his life, including the
raising of his children, so that the torch is passed from generation to
generation and the momentum of his success is not lost.
A prime example of this work-in-action
is Willie Lynch's "sharing" of the plan he devised to gain and maintain
control of his slaves, which he also recognized and determined as a way
to control all Negroes and any other people deemed by Whites as being inferior
to them. Once *the system* was practiced for a certain period of
time and due to its effectiveness, became *tried and true*, it also became
*the golden rule of thumb*. This is why by all accounts, White people
see themselves as conquerors, "winners of the games" whose rules they devise
after all. It stands to reason that when children are drilled with
certain information during their developing years, this "programming" manifests
as the reality they come to know and inevitably accept. At some point
the information becomes indelibly recorded in their gene pool and bloodline
and becomes characteristic of who they are. So, they pass this information
on to their offspring in order to effect their thought process.
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On the contrary, typically, African
American children receive the message that they're different from everyone
else, and that their difference somehow makes them inferior. Throughout
their lives they a're pressured to ignore, deny, and much worse, abandon
those things that come natural to them as children of African-descent,
and to pursue developing the characteristics of those outside their race,
specifically *Caucasians*. They're taught early on that much of what
comes natural to people of African-descent is viewed negatively by the
world in general, and that in order to be accepted, it is crucial to work
hard at behaving in a more acceptable way; which is a way "other than"
African American.
Sadly, a foremost part of this message
is even that the Creator made a mistake in the design of their characteristic
features. Many feel uncomfortable with their skin-color, complexion
type, hair grade and many other physical features. Some Black parents
undo their children's essence by encouraging them to look, speak, behave,
think and even feel as do their Caucasian counterparts, further qualifying
their existing feelings of self-consciousness. As they grow up, rest
assured that Black children take note of all the *fussing with* hair, skin
and so on done by their parents. One Black mother that I know personally
states that she when her baby was born, the first thing she did was grab
the infants nose and pinched it to "shape" it to prevent it from being
pug. Her reason for doing this is because she *heard* this is what
White mothers do so their children's noses develop pointed instead of pug.
Parenting for the African American
family brings the additional struggle of dealing with our children as the
people they were created to be; especially true of those families who strive
to meld into the pot of White Americanism. For many of them, the
focus is on forgetting the past of our people, including its positive components,
namely "overcoming odds" and "surviving in spite of them". Typically,
their mindset is that there's not much to overcome in order to survive
as long as one follows the White American norm by living up to White American
standards.
The great misunderstanding between
those of our people who concentrate their efforts on White Americanism,
and those who embrace their innate Afrocentricity is that one side believes
that Afrocentricity is a foolish choice, as being simply "American" dictates
possessing qualities of the status quo, while the other holds that in actuality,
White Americanism is the choice, being that Afrocentricity is a definitive
characteristic of people of African-descent. Our children peep this
behavior of ours, and while like all other children, they yearn to be who
they are, they
often strive to become who we tell
them they should be. Our expectation that they live out what we've
been brainwashed to believe is a detrimental desire. Our adoption
of the absurd idea that we are nothing unless we *fit in* with and are
accepted by White society is perhaps our toughest problem. It is
a divisive tool that narrows down who we are as a people to being either
*good* Black people or *bad* Black people. What's most unfortunate
is that this inferiority complex plagues our children as they live through
their growing years, and spills over into much of their adult lives.
It seems to me that if we really
want to follow in the White man's footsteps, we shouldn't omit his step
of ensuring that our children well understand their beauty and overall
importance in the world. We too, should make it clear to our children
that they are the most beautiful creatures resulting from God's artwork.
We should make a point of learning for ourselves, then teaching them that
our ancestors were not lowly people, but loving, compassionate, intellectual,
spiritual people who were standing upright when first confronted by impending
captors, and who sprang right back up even after being knocked down by
them. It's crucial that the loud and clear message we transmit to
them is one which dignifies them as individuals worthy of the things that
the Creator meant for all His children to have, and that sensibly instructs
them in how to attain them.
Why not take the time out this Thanksgiving,
to pray with our children, giving thanks to the Creator for what He has
so graciously given *all*? Let this holiday season motivate our spirit
of renewal, and be the beginning of our new attitudes towards ourselves
and each other.
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[A special friend sent us the following, and we wanted each of you
to have a "BLUE RIBBON" because our hearts tell us that you deserve
it. Please take a moment to read this story.]
A teacher in New York decided to honor each of her seniors in
high school by telling them the difference they each made. She called each
student to the front of the class, one at a time. First she told
each of them how
they had made a difference in her life and to the class. She then presented
each of the students with a blue ribbon imprinted with gold letters, which
read.
After everyone had receive their blue ribbon, the teacher decided to
do a class project to see what kind of impact recognition would have on
a community. She gave each of the students three more blue ribbons
and told them to go out and spread this now well-learned acknowledgment
ceremony. They were to follow up on the results to see who honored whom
and report back to the class in
a week.
One of the boys in the class went to a junior executive in a nearby
company and honored him for helping him with his career planning.
He gave him a blue ribbon and placed it on his shirt. He then gave
him two extra ribbons and said, "We`re doing a class project on recognition,
and we`d like you to go out, find somebody to honor, give them a blue
ribbon, then give them the extra blue ribbon so they can acknowledge
a third person to keep this acknowledgment ceremony going. Please
report back to me and tell we what happened.
Later that day the junior executive went in to see his boss,
who had been noted, by the way, as being kind of a grouchy fellow. He sat
his boss down and he told him that he deeply admired him for being a creative
genius. The boss seemed very surprised. The junior executive asked him
if he would accept the gift of the blue ribbon and would he give him permission
to put it on him. His
surprised boss said, "Well, sure." The junior executive took the blue
ribbon and placed it right on his boss`s jacket above his heart.
As he gave him the last blue ribbon, he said, "Would you do me a favor?
Could you take this extra ribbon and pass it on by honoring somebody else?
The young boy who first gave me the ribbons is doing a project in school
and we want to keep this recognition ceremony going and find out how it
affects people.
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That night the boss came home to his 14-year-old son and sat him down.
He said, "The most incredible thing happened to me today. I was in my office
and one of the junior executives came in and told me he admired me and
gave me a blue ribbon for being a creative genius.
Imagine, he thinks I`m a creative genius. Then he put this blue
ribbon that says "Who I Am Makes A Difference` on my jacket above my heart.
He gave me an extra ribbon and asked me to find someboy else to honor.
As I was driving home tonight, I started thinking about whom I would honor
with this ribbon and I thought about you. I want to honor you. My days
are really hectic and when I come home I don`t pay a lot of attention to
you. Sometimes I scream at you for not getting good enough grades in school
and for your bedroom being a mess, but somehow tonight, I just wanted to
sit here and, well, just let you know that you do make a difference to
me. Besides you mother, you are my life. You`re a great kid and I love
you!"
The startled boy started to sob and sob, and he couldn`t stop crying.
His whole body shook. He looked up at his father and said through
his tears, "I was planning on committing suicide tomorrow, Dad, because
I didn`t
think you loved me. Now I know you care. This is the happiest day I`ve
known."
The boss went back to work a changed man. He was no longer a grouch
but made sure to let all his employees know that they made a difference.
The junior executive helped several other young people with career planning
and never forgot to let them know that they made a difference in his life...one
being the bosses son. And the young boy and his classmates learned a valuable
lesson.
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